The Power of Doing Nothing

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“The man who sits idle by a river all day and considers it not a waste of time is wise.”  -Zen saying.

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From the time we wake until we drag ourselves back to bed at night we are constantly busy.  We are a productive culture and society is reinforcing the idea that we aren’t productive enough. 

We exhaust ourselves yet drink high caffeine content beverages.  Then when we are not in high gear we turn to the media.  Technology entertains our minds but invites them to turn off and tune out. 

Even out in public, we are constantly on cell phones in some kind of distracting (if not a more industrious) way.  We are never doing “nothing”, but there are some powerful benefits to the act of stillness of both mind and body.

Take an hour, or a day if possible, and don’t do a thing.   No working or cleaning, and no planning to do anything.  Let your mind wander.  Do not entertain yourself with the television or the radio, and do not play on your cell phone.  Let go of the need to be productive. 

Get out of the house if you need to and be somewhere you can just mellow.  The following list is by no means comprehensive, but just a few examples of how you can improve your life through non-activity. 

De-stress for better health

If you never slow down your body will eventually not be able to keep up.  You need adequate rest and that means more than a few hours of sleep at night.  Take time to rest and relax.  By doing nothing you allow your mind to unwind and de-stress and that puts your body at ease.   Stress can take a terrible toll on your immune system.  Giving your mind time to be at peace also saves you from colds and the flu not to mention other more serious diseases further down the road.

Glean perspective on life

You can’t see the forest for the trees.  And it’s hard to take perspective on life when you are driving through it like it’s the Indy 500.  Stop and consider where you are heading in life.  Is life progressing as you wished it would?  Are you happy?  What changes can you make to improve your status in life?  I once heard that a ship at sea is off course constantly and the captain must make adjustments in navigation the entire trip in order to arrive at the proper destination.  This too is how life is. 

Gain Gratitude

I can say with great confidence that if you stopped doing anything for a specified amount of time, the world would function without you.  Too many people have this thought that they are indispensable to their jobs or their families and that can put a lot of pressure (not to mention stress) on you.  You should be happy that when you stop doing as you would normally do, life will adapt and go on around you. 

The system works and you don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders.  View the complex system of this world by stepping back from it. Admire it at a distance and be grateful to be apart of it.  It’s a sophisticated universe we live in, and you are a sophisticated component of it.  Rejoice in that while remarking at its beauty.

Make yourself more productive

Call it “creative rejuvenation,” but to rest, letting the mind wander, is some of the best medicine I’ve ever given myself professionally.  My best ideas often come when I’m not sitting at the computer writing, but sitting on the beach with my feet in the sand.  It’s always happened this way. Why?  Probably because I’m at peace and my mind is off daydreaming. 

In order to get new ideas you have to do something different than you normally do.  Whether you’ve thinking professionally or personally, it’s all the same.  Take a small sabbatical and breathe new energy into your life.

The beneficial power of doing nothing can provide greater health, a better vision of your goals, and revive creative juices.  Try it.  It will be difficult at first as your habits have been to stay occupied, but surely you’ll master the art of non-action.  

Become More You and Less Them

We all want a voice.  We all want to be seen for who we are.  You hear the old sayings, “a face in the crowd,” “a name on a list” or “social security number of the government”.  No one wants to be this way, but oftentimes in society we have to be lumped together in order to make things work more smoothly.  We are taught that this is the way the world should be.  This is wrong.  It’s time to stand out from the crowd.  Don’t be defined by the group any longer.  Below I have listed some steps on how to be more individualized.

Be honest with yourself

You can’t be yourself if you don’t know who you are.  Take some time and sort out your stance concerning as many topics as you can think of.  Good, bad, or indifferent accept your own views and never lie to yourself about them.  Like Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.”

Break from the herd

Now that you know yourself, be unabashed and fearless about being you.  Admit to yourself and others that you are quirky and maybe a little eccentric.  Conformity is a sign of fear, so stand brave.  You have a personality. Like a light from within you, you should let it shine.

Set your own goals

Don’t let others plan your life for you.  It is done out of love, but it can become overbearing to have someone try and run your life.  Decide what you want and determine your own course to get it.  Blaze new trails and learn from your own mistakes.  An old saying is, “There is no one wiser than a person with experience.”  Go out and earn that experience.  You can change the world. 

Question everything

So many times in life we find it easier to do as we are told.  We shut down to the possibilities of finding new ideas or ways to improve upon the old systems.  Question everything; ask why people do the same old things without improvement.  Even if you can’t improve upon them at least you’ll understand the world around you better.  Questioning is a great tool of the innovative mind.  Imagine the possibilities.

Love yourself

You are unique.  There’s no one else in the world like you.  Celebrate that and love your individuality. Self define, not by whom others want you to be, but how you choose to be.  The world is a stage and we are all just players.  You’re in the role you were born to play.   

Chart your own course and be original.  Life is yours to mold and confidence will get you further than fitting in.  Remember who you are and keep a clear view of what you want out of life.  The rest will fall into place.  

7 Steps to Forgiveness

Many times throughout our lives people will hurt us or in some way wrong us, either intentionally or accidently.  It’s inevitable.  Whether they are close to us or not the actions of these people can leave us feeling angry, hurt, or scared.  This is a natural occurrence and happens to everyone.

Sometimes this pain will continue on for long periods of time and disrupt your life.  Constantly living through the pain over and over again can alter the way you live for fear of having it happen again. Dwelling on it can rob you of happiness and joy in the present. 

This can take serious tolls on us because if left unchecked it can affect family, friends and work.  Letting feelings of anger or hurt overwhelm you constantly is no way to live.  In fact, it can even lead to depression.

This is what happened to me a few years ago.  My mind was totally consumed with what was wrong in the world and it was based on a lot of anger and sadness with how others had wronged me as far back as my childhood.  I was so caught up in my victimhood that it sank me into depression, and this, in turn, completely affected all of those around me. 

I needed to learn to let go and forgive.  I found that holding onto my anger bound me. The pain that it had caused eventually came to define me.  I was angry, bitter, and riddled with resentment.  This couldn’t go on.  It was exhausting.  I had to let go of the heavy burdens of keeping up these feelings. 

When you release the resentment and begin to forgive, your life starts to heal.  You let go of the emotions that keep us as victims of other’s wrong doings.  It was challenging but I’ve done it and it’s amazing the burdens that are lifted when you forgive.  In doing so you will find that you are stronger than you believed yourself to be. 

I am now in a place of reflection about how I came to let go and forgive.  I want to share some tips on how you can free yourself from resentment and pain.  Here’s what I was able to learn.

Weigh the value of holding on versus forgiving. 

What is it that you’re holding on to?  How is it keeping you from personal growth?  How is it affecting your relationships to others?  Is it helping you achieve your goals and aspirations?  In many cases, you will find that not forgiving and not letting go of these pains are actually heavy burdens that consume you and hinders your personal growth.  It’s time to free yourself from those restrictive binding weights of your past.

Vow to let go and forgive.  

It’s not going to happen in an instant.  It may not be easy or quick but forgiveness isn’t a switch you flip; it’s a process.  I named this article steps to forgiveness because I recognize that forgiveness is a journey.  It takes time to get over something and the bigger the pain you feel, the longer it might take.  Commit to the change in your life.  Once you let it go you will no longer be bound by the pain it’s causing you.

Recognize your choice.  

You are only in control of your own actions, not the actions of others.  The only thing that is completely in your control is your thoughts.  You can choose to stop rehashing this pain in your mind over and over again.  You can choose to move on.  This is an amazing power and the choice to use it is solely in your hands.  It just takes time to begin to exercise that power. 

Empathize.  

It can be difficult and oftentimes the pain of what’s transpired can blind you from seeing it, but it’s an interesting exercise to empathize with your offender.  Put yourself in the place of the other person and try and figure out what caused them to act as they did.  It’s best to always start with the viewpoint that the person didn’t do it because they are a bad character, rather they just did something wrong.  How is this person feeling now?  How did they feel while wronging you?  Do they feel regret? Remember, you aren’t empathizing to justify their actions but to simply understand them better.

Acknowledge your responsibility.  

In all incidences there is no conflict without both parties owning some responsibility.  Try and figure out how what happened might have been caused, at least in part, by your actions.  What could you have done to have kept it from happening?  Is there a way to prevent it from reoccurring?  The objective isn’t to take all the blame for what’s happened but to acknowledge we are not victims of our lives but willing participants. 

Focus on the present not the past.  

The past is behind you it isn’t real anymore, its history.  It has no bearing on the present moment or your future.  The incident that has left you pained isn’t happening anymore except in your mind and you are making it real.  All current unhappiness and pain is your fault because you won’t let it go.  Bring your focus back to the present moment letting the pains from the past slip off you.  What are you doing at this very moment?  Can you find joy right now?  You will sooner or later go back to thinking on this past incident but just bring yourself back from it and into happiness.

Allow peace and compassion to fill you.  

Make peace with the past, as it is gone.   To dwell on the past any longer is a waste of the present.  Breathe deep and exhaust the pain. With every new breath feel yourself letting go of resentment, anger, and fear.  Feel love enter your heart and your mind.  Forgive the person.  In forgiving them you are freeing yourself from the burden of carrying those emotions with you.  You will feel the weight lifted.  Let love for the person and for all of life begin to live in your heart and expand from there.  This is a difficult last step. 

You may find yourself repeating the above steps, occasionally, to move fully beyond the pain and resentment into forgiveness.   Ultimately, your choices are what define you and choosing to move forward and letting go of this burden will redefine all that you are and how you perceive the world.  It’s for you to decide.

How to Keep Christmas in Your Heart Everyday

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is a story about living.  A wonderful theme for the Christmas season but Dickens tells us also a lesson about life that should be practiced year round.  It’s a ghostly tale but few things exist of this world that would cause Scrooge to become inspired enough to make necessary changes in his life.  The miracle awakening that Ebenezer is forced through on the night of Christmas Eve is a journey that we all should want to take.  While hauntings of this nature are quite rare we can walk ourselves through the steps and become awakened along the path. 

It isn’t difficult for us to really do what the ghosts of Christmas did for Scrooge.  We only have to take a look at our past, present, and future and assess for ourselves the current status of our lives.  This can be done in quiet meditation or time spent alone in reflection.  Just like the fateful night from Dickens’ novel take each of the following reflections or meditations one at a time, allowing the impact of each to reach you at your core.  Awaken to your inner truth and let it sink in before progressing forward, grow with it and let the miracle envelope you.

Reach back.

It’s important to remember our childhood and think about what living was like back then.  It was a simpler age, no doubt.  As children, our minds were only concerned with adventures, pretend, Saturday morning cartoons, candy, toys and our best friends.  You never woke up anxious about Mondays or meetings or overdue bills, or unfulfilled dreams.   Living was immediate.  The future held promise of a golden tomorrow, and the past wasn’t important.  What is important is remembering what being a child was like. Blanketed by the innocence of just living life simply without the complications we’ve added throughout the years since.  Regain the gleam of childlike fascination with the world around you.  It’s truly priceless. 

We can get that back, because it’s all a matter of how we perceive things.  At some point in our lives we grow up and lost our sense of wonder with the world.  There was fascination with our environment and a belief in the unseen when believing meant seeing.  We’ve become jaded to that magical world that’s all around us, when we were cops and robbers, princesses and knights, and hide and go seekers.  Children approach life with an energy and creativity that breathes potential into every situation.   That energy is what you need to enrich your life and help you make decisions concerning your happiness. 

Play games and make believe to regain that imaginative eye of a child.  You didn’t lose it, you just haven’t used it.  It needs to be taken out and dusted off.  Don’t grow up.  Look at your life through childhood eyes then evaluate your happiness.  It’s the simple things that bring the most joy.  Reexamine your priorities.  Forget about stressing the “what if’s” or “what might have been’s”.  Kids don’t dwell on those things, they move past them. 

Be Present. 

Awareness of the state of others around you is a gift in and of itself.  Ol’ Scroogey was miserable and projected his misery at others around him.  He thought of generosity and charity as weakness and only valued hard work and money.  The old miser was despised not only for his hard-nosed business practices but his cold nature.  Sympathetic to no one’s feelings or situations, Ebenezer pushed all relationships away. 

Egotism is an easy road to walk and one that you will find yourself alone on if you go too far.  You cannot judge your own life’s value by possessions and achievements.  The only measure is the love for those around you and the love they have for you.  The most beautiful mindset to live by is (that you can never take anything with you) you can only give.  Everything in the world is only borrowed while you are here and one day you leave it behind.  Generosities of love and attention, gratitude and friendship are the most important gifts to give at Christmastime and all year round. 

Take an assessment of all those you have contact with daily.  Let your thoughts settle on the relationships you have.  How could you improve them?  Can you provide more value?  It can prove to be overwhelming trying to change the world. It’s more effective to improve the lives of others you know.  What would make them better and stronger?  How could you do something everyday that could benefit a complete stranger?  The value you are looking for is to leave something better than you found it.

Altruism is a habit best developed when practiced daily.  Give generously, love deeply, smile often and do more than the minimum.

Die While You’re Alive

By far, the most terrifying portion of Dickens’ tale is Scrooge’s stint with the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, a mysterious black robed phantom that looks like the Grim Reaper.  This ghost shows Scrooge images of his pending future should he not learn to change his ways.  The most striking of these visions are the details and reactions of others surrounding his death.  He’s afforded a wondrous opportunity to die while he’s still alive.  You can experience this too.  

It’s inevitable that eventually we’re all going to die. So why not envision it in advance?  Experience it, dream it, play it out in your mind.  Write your own eulogy, script your funeral, even plan for it.  The goal is to see that every moment is precious because it’s one less that remains in this lifetime.  You should be spending those precious moments making your life magical.  Don’t stress for, don’t get anxious or envious for anything because it’s all temporary.  What matter’s most is the love and friendships you have in your life.  Give and support others and let happiness flow within and through you always. 

It’s important to take a look at your present circumstances through the eyes of what will happen as your life plays out to the end.  Do you like what you see?  If not then you can change it.  That’s the gift.  Your ability to be a living Christmas miracle is in recognizing the importance of living fully, because life doesn’t last forever and the impacts you make will mark your legacy when you are gone.

Dickens’ put a life lesson in this tale of Christmas and the impact of such has gone on to create one of the most well recognized Christmas stories throughout history.  It’s spiritual and resonates with us. Reminding us no matter how long it’s been and how far we’ve strayed, we can turn it all around any time we still have a breath in our lungs and love in our hearts.  I want to leave you with these words from A Christmas Carol, as Scrooge awakens to the reality of his mistakes.

 "I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. Why show me this, if I am past all hope!...I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach”

How You Treat Others Defines You

How the world treats us is often a reflection of how we treat the world.  I tend to receive general kindness from people.  This kindness, I believe, goes back to the concept that we get back what we give out.  This is the demonstration of the law of attraction, which states that all your thoughts and all the emotions connected to your thoughts will become your reality. In other words, everything you currently have in your life has been attracted to you through your mind.  This is the way that the universe works.  If you stay mindful to project kindness, love and gratitude you will surely receive these things in return. 

Life is a cycle of energy.  Just like the flow of the ocean, it ebbs and flows but you can only get in energy once you have given it out. To know that you should be thoughtful, kind and thankful is one thing, but practicing it can be more difficult. I’ve put together some starter tips that you can use to begin to see the relationship between what energy you put out and the energy you receive.

Know those who serve you and support you.

Take conscious effort to get to know people who are responsible for making sure that things in your life are running smoothly.  Whether it’s a janitor at your work, the bank teller, the lawn care guy, the cashier you see daily at the convenience store, your neighbors or anyone else that has a reoccurring role in your life, take an interest in the lives of these people who make an impact on your daily life.  You don’t need to know their whole life history; just showing a genuine interest in the person lets them know you find their roles valuable.  .

I make it a point to look at the cashier’s name tag when I go shopping.  I use some casual banter in our exchange and at the end always thank them using their name.  I can’t tell you that this gives them a lasting impression of me, but I took the time to recognize them as a person not just “the checkout girl at the grocery store.”  Any opportunity you have  to make someone’s day better, go for it.  It makes a world of difference in your day too.

Be the change you wish to see in others

I believe that common courtesies have become fading habits.  One reason for this is that our lives have accelerated through technology and continual strives for productivity.  It’s amazing to me how few people take the time to be polite anymore.  We’re no longer holding doors open, shaking hands, or saying hello to people as we pass by.  It’s easy to forget (with your face down texting on your cell phone) while walking into the gas station that someone is behind you and let the door slam in their face.  Often, someone will hold the door for me and it means all the difference that someone took the time to think of me.  I have always found small courtesies such as these to be gentlemanly or ladylike and have always tried to do the same (except car doors, I always fail at remembering those)

Never pass up an opportunity to serve others.  If you cross someone who needs help dead battery in the parking lot, or flat tire on the side of the road and you’re in a position to help, at least make the offer.  You’d want them to offer assistance if the position was flipped.  It’s easy to complain about what the world is turning into and not be the change you wish to see in others.  Don’t let that happen.

Show gratitude for the service you get.

While you are on your daily routine, handling the business of living, be sure to take no one for granted.  People make the world go round.  My world spins because of the service I receive from many different places, and I am deeply grateful.  Saying thank you for everything you receive is not only easy, it’s free, and it goes a long way.  Offering a “thank you” or “you’re welcome” is also, sadly, very easily overlooked.  Remember to show your appreciation for all that you get, be it product or service. 

I had a great lunch a few weeks ago. The food was great, and the service was top notch for a casual dining restaurant during a lunch rush.  The server, a middle aged man, was not only attentive but also personable and made the experience wonderful.  Forty-five minutes after I left, I realized I had forgotten to tip him.  I very quickly got in the car, went back to the restaurant, approached the waiter and asked for forgiveness.  He made no mention that I didn’t tip.  He even seemed confused as to what I meant as he politely accepted it and continued to go about his job. 

It made me feel instantly better, and it was augmented by the cashier at the front of the restaurant making mention that it was really great of me to come all the way back just to tip the server. 

I smiled and said, “How could I not? He did a great job.” 

 

Regardless of what happens remember to show how thankful you are for even the smallest kindnesses.  People are not required to treat you well, but when they do it makes your experience better.

  

Problems are unrealized opportunities

I have spent the better part of the last ten years studying entrepreneurship which is founded on one critical fact.  Every problem is an opportunity.  If you can solve someone’s problem then you have a means of creating value for someone else.  This is how business works.  It has taken me a little longer to realize that this is how all relationships work.  People unite together in relationships, families, friendships, and networks in order to serve and help one another.  In essence to solve each other’s problems.  Realizing this is a huge factor in every interaction because it helps you grasp how to give more value to the relationships that you have. 

Are you the kind of person that focuses solely on the problem?  The mind can get so bogged down with negative views that you will only see what’s wrong and never see a solution.  Some people live their whole lives this way.  Try to stay solution focused when posed with life’s hurdles and you will suddenly see endless opportunities to create value in your life and the lives of those around you.  Amazing things happen to those who can see how to solve each other’s problems. 

  

Give when it counts.

And give without counting.  People often have a scarcity mindset that holds back their generosity.  I have never given anything away that I have later missed.  It’s always been a great feeling letting it go than having kept it.  I’ve also been blessed by the generosity of others in many of the same ways.  I feel a distinct relationship between my mindset on giving away and getting back.  In the end it’s all just flowing energy. 

This goes for anything you can think of.  I make it a point to give my spare change to charity all the time.  Around the holidays I give it to the Salvation Army’s bell ringers outside the grocery store.  I mean to give blood more often than I do but even that’s easy to give, my body will make more.  You can’t take anything with you when your time comes; all you can do in this life is give.  Give often and give when it counts.

You’ll never know the impact you make on the world.  There will be times when the slightest gesture which is nothing to someone will have a meaningful impact on your life.  A good friend of mine calls them “magic moments”.  He describes them as times of vivid enlightenment that can be brought on by any conversation or action.  These moments can be remarkable for one person and yet seemingly ordinary for another. 

Magic moments can also be hugely benevolent or destructive, depending on the impact they leave on the perceiver.  Since you never know when they are going to occur it’s best to always be striving to show kindness, love and gratitude for all that is around you.  The complex system that makes up the world around you is actually very delicate.  Honor that and treat it well.

Everyday Thanksgiving.

It's Thanksgiving, what I've always seen as America's gunshot start to the holidays marathon, but before all of the seasonal shuffling gather your family and friends around the table, large or small.  Count your blessings and pray.  Don't pray for things you want for your life because today is about being grateful for what it is that you already have.

This gratitude should stretch to all the things that make your life what it is.  Be grateful for the air you breathe, the light of the sun, and the roof over your head.  Be grateful for your heart, your liver, for your kidneys.  Be thankful that you are living.

Rejoice that you are in the company of loved ones, and if you are not then call them.  If you know someone who's alone don't let them be.  No one is truly alone in this world.  Everyone has much to be thankful for and you should make everyday a thanksgiving day.

I feel so much gratitude that my cup as run over with love for my own life.  It's true, I am in love with my life.  I'm passionately dedicated to it, awake to it, and so grateful for it.  You should feel the same about your own life.  Take not a single moment for granted, because that moment is passing and you can't get it back.

As you sit down to eat, before taking that first bite, look around you in all that you are apart of, the beauty of our lives is everywhere.  Be grateful.

How to Find Your Life's Purpose.

What is the meaning of life? That has been pondered over the centuries by philosophers from every age and culture. From the earliest times men have sought to insert their interpretations of meaning into the vast experience that is life. I'd have you believe this very simple notion: the meaning of life is to make life meaningful.

No one can inject meaning into your life for you. No amount of religion, psychology, romance, alcohol, or sex is going to provide the absolute answers. Life's meaning must be sought by the person lacking it. How do you find the meaning of your life? Discovering your life’s purpose? Well it’s about finding what you’re passionate about. I believe spiritually, we’re all on the planet with a purpose, something we’re all supposed to be here doing. It could be anything. Our soul knows what this purpose is but our conscious minds do not. We’re driven subtly to pursue activities within our lives and then purpose manifests itself through our interests and the passions we develop. Tapping into this purpose can open your eyes to a whole different view of the world all around you.

Finding your life's purpose can transform your entire life from a place of dull existence to an amazing world of harmony and magic. Consider what excites you. What do you love doing that allows you to lose all track of time while doing it? Anything that you find yourself doing that rives you to distraction and provides you with emotional satisfaction is going to take you in the right direction.

For me, writing and speaking on the topics of self improvement and spiritual discovery are my passions. They call to me. This very article and this webpage are the evidence of me living in my purpose. This is what I was here to do. I know it.

When you ask yourself, “What drives me? What is my passion?” you may not come back with any apparent answers. It’s time for you to begin to consider some very basic questions.

What comes easily?
What’s something that you like to do that you find to be very easy? Often times we can’t recognize what we love to do but we can see that there’s always been something that comes naturally to us, or that was not as difficult to do as other things. This is a strength in our lives that is usually created by our own personal interest in the subject. Start a list of things you have always found to be easy to do.

What really sparks your creative mind?
I love to create media. I have long held an interest in writing and designing marketing materials, design layout for brochures and business cards, I was even on the high school newspaper staff as a teenager. A couple times in my life, I’ve been a part of making commercials. These things always get my creative juices flowing and I get “in the zone”. In the recent years I have found a growing passion in making websites, and creating media products. Anytime anyone mentions anything about product development or advertising I perk right up and offer input. It’s just a passion I know I have.

What do you love to talk about?
I’ll be in a conversation with my wife around the house and suddenly I will notice her looking at me, smiling and shaking her head. I’ll stop and ask her "What's the matter?". She’ll immediately just look at me and say, “I love you.”. This has become a way for me to realize that I have hijacked our conversation and began taking it down some road on a topic that I’m crazy passionate about. I don’t realize that I rarely stop to take a breath, or let her get an opinion in. These are some of the things that I am knowledgeable and passionate about. Things I’ve often found that I can’t help but fall back to in conversation. When you have just read or heard something about a topic and you have that "I’ve just gotta tell someone this!" thought in your head, that’s a huge indicator of your life’s purpose flowing through you. Ask those closest to you to tell you what it is that you are always enthusiastically rambling about. This could help you greatly to discover your hidden passion

What would you do for free?
Oftentimes in life, there is no immediate pay off in our topics of interest. I’ve spent countless hours and dollars investing in my knowledge of self improvement and to no financial gain at all. These are the things I would do anyway even if I didn’t aspire to eventually make money doing them. Your higher calling may not be something that has an apparent financial gain. If you know of something you love doing so much that you’d be willing to do it anyway for free or even pay to do it, then you have a huge indicator of your life’s purpose.

What would you regret not having done?
When aging people are surveyed about their lives, and are asked, “What do you regret the most not having done in life?” the number one answer is that they wished they’d taken more risks. here are only a couple of definite truths in this world. You are here now; you will not always be. What are you going to do with the time you have been given that will make this all meaningful? Life’s too short and too precious to not go out and risk a little bit. Oftentimes, fear of failure locks us down, but I’d have you realize that dying without trying is the ultimate failure. What will you regret not having done with your life before it’s over?

Living with meaning will awaken you to the world, it changes your perspective. It’s like living in high definition. When you live with purpose you begin to recognize that everything that exists has purpose. Happiness will flow from within you and your whole life changes. I’m interested in hearing about your search for your passions. Email me at FlipFlopPhilosophy@gmail.com to share your self discoveries with me. 

Let's Get It Started!

 For years now I’ve studied self help, and personal development, religions, and even alternative religions and magic.  I’ve been exposed to a lot of new ideas and some that are pretty far out.  I’ve likely ran the gamut of topics concerning personal empowerment and inner peace.  What’s my drive? 

At the risk of giving the illusion of insanity or sitting on a therapist’s couch (something else I admit that I have done before) like many things about us as adults, it all started when I was a child.  I have always, for as long as I remember, had a certain unshakable feeling.  A knowing or personal truth, undeniable, was something I couldn’t get out of my thoughts, something that no one could ever convince me wasn’t real.  It was simply this, I have a purpose to know a truth beyond anything which is being told to me right now, I don’t know what that is, but I will know it when they tell me, because there is more to life than what is right in front of me.  And this is what I understood at the age of 5 and 6 years old!

Let me explain this notion a bit.  When I was in kindergarten the concept was tucked into the back of my mind constantly present and maybe even long before that.  I did lead a very turbulent childhood life, but there was always a knowing that there was more to this reality than what was apparent.  I understood this at such a young age likened it to the counter at the bank, it’s there and you just couldn’t see it without being raised up or big enough.  I wasn’t tall enough yet and the way the world worked was related to what happened up there.  In my mind, only adults were able to know this truth but I was wise to the secret I knew it existed where none of my friends did.  Maybe, I was just a young paranoid schizophrenic?

As the years passed this feeling never went away, I was constantly interested in what adults were talking about, because I wanted to learn this life secret they were keeping from me.  By my early teens, with many very teen distractions contending for my attention, I still hadn’t learned anything deeply penetrating about the meaning of life. My exposure to the world left me with a new thought.  It isn’t that they aren’t telling me it’s that I am understanding that there’s a secret out there and most people don’t know it.  It’s a little higher than the bank counter than I imagined in my youth. 

In my later teen years I began to ask tougher questions about life, death, afterlife and existence.  My early influencers turned me to my traditional religious path, church.  I went in seeking the answers and came back as many teens do with much to rebel against.  I missed the point, and kept searching.  Places I turned  to professed a knowing of the truth but each time I asked, read, or listened; it seemed the truth eluded me.  It became evident that all the people who claimed to know this truth either missed it completely or couldn’t convey it to me.  I was left with this new understanding.  This secret is too difficult to convey to most people. I was frustrated to say the least.

Life goes on as it always does and I continued my pursuit, and believe me if this wasn't a part of my being I probably would have given up and forgotten about it.  This truth was undeniable, I mean, I couldn’t get it out f my head.  My interests in self improvement and religions had now expanded to include business. As a young man I began to suffer many of the same distractions and ambitions that adults face.   Starting a family meant improving my life through success, and making money.  This was coupled with the inclusion of business books which hinted at some spiritual truth. but also nearly tripping over millions made through entrepreneurship.  To the enlightened zen millionaire.  I had gone on farther, and started over reaching, growing very distracted in my books and in pursuit of my ambitious goals. 

In these pursuits is where I lost my way.  My knowing of happiness became perverted by my ambitions, and I was lost in the proverbial woods, and then despair.  This is the truth of the past few years of adulthood, which have been full of trials.  Faced with personal limitations, and stirred together with a lack of self confidence and any personal fulfillment, I fell into depression.  It was a difficult time for myself, and my family, and loved ones.  It was a time of tears and feeling very divided from the world.  Distractions helped solve problems in the immediate sense but the problems were always beneath the surface, a dark admission that I shared only with those closest to me. In truth it was that I hated myself. 

My mind was closed, it was crippled.  Not much mattered to me, not my truth, not my ambitions, certainly not my well-being.  I pained myself and my loved ones, lashed out irrationally at those around me and projected my personal demons on the faces of those who would have saved me if only I would let them.  It was tragic. 

One day I couldn't do it anymore. Not another day couldn't be spent crying for myself, or taking another pill, or hurting others because I wanted to hurt myself. I completely let go.  I started taking large amounts of time and spending it outside in the most healing place I could go; which for me that was the beach. It was there that I began to heal. Every morning I witnessed the sunrise, I meditated, and I reflected.  Centering myself, I found peace, and another piece of myself. In doing these things, I found the path out of the woods.  Since then I’ve learned to apply these lessons to my life and I’ll share them with you now.

Ø      Do not put off happiness for another day when you’ve accomplished something you’ve set in your mind to do.  Happiness isn’t something you will get from life, it’s something you bring to life.  It’s the journey not the destination.

Ø      Focus on the quality of the life you lead, not the size, the decoration or the appearance of it.. Stop comparing what your life contains verses what others have, the only test of your life's quality is how happy you are, if life (no matter how you live it) doesn't make you happy, you're doing it wrong.

Ø      Let go of the illusion of control over life.  Any use of the present to worry about the future is a waste. Letting go of control is not giving up the attempt at causing change, it's breaking the attachment to the outcomes we would prefer in any/every situation in which we find ourselves. 

 

Ø      All negative thoughts should be put away.  If you expel negativity this is all that you will receive.  Because all things attract what they are like, so too will misery love company.  Positive people attract more positive people, and great things happen in those environments.  Do you’re best to stay in the light and love and you will attract more light and love.

  

Ø      Be grateful and humble in all things.  To be alive is a precious gift, so stay thankful for every wonderful thing working in harmony to keep you alive.   And be humble in that knowing.  Being humble is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

 

Ø      Become better everyday but always focus on self improvement.  It’s not to become better than anyone else, just better than you were.

 

These lessons are some of what I’ve learned from life and are true keys to happiness.  I hope that over time I will take these thoughts and others and expand on them until they are fully explored.  I have so much to share with you, my reader.  So, go on in peace and be blessed.

 

Namaste.